


soul

by ecomexi



Category: Ensemble Stars, Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Making Out, Ran Nagisa (mentioned), apology, borderline NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 10:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecomexi/pseuds/ecomexi
Summary: Ibara owed everything to Yuzuru, but to Ibara, Yuzuru owed absolutely nothing. Why then?Why then were they holding hands now, singing in unison like nothing was wrong?





	soul

"Hm, hm, hm~m~! ☆ " Ibara hummed cheerfully, moving his feet up and around and doing the poses that his unit partner told him to do. Or more specifically, had been vaguely urged to do so by Nagisa as a result of the prompting of Ibara himself. So, really, in the end, it was Ibara who was ordering himself to practice, although he didn't need it or even care about it. So why, then?

Ibara struck a pose. Scarce droplets of sweat rolled down his head.

For shooting beyond excellence? But Ibara was already far beyond excellence; annoyingly so. For the sake of killing time? He, in fact, had many better things to do. After all, he never felt all that motivated in the concept of being an idol. Performing for the smiles of others wasn't something that fascinated him as much as it seemed to do so to those around him. Sometimes Ibara wondered if there was something wrong with him in that regard. He always concluded that he was probably just selfish. He always acknowledged the possibility, and even embraced it. So why was he here, in the practice room, with his body repeating the same formula he had memorized a thousand times over?

As a coincidence?

The door was open. Ibara's eyes shifted toward it, spotting a familiar figure lurking. He grinned, waving his arm as if to beckon him. "Yuzuru, Yuzuru!" he shouted; the figure froze, and faced him with a dim expression.

Ibara gazed at him lovingly. He'd still not gotten used to how much his best friend had changed since the — what, two years? three? — time he had seen him last. For one, he had cut his hair. It used to be so long, cascading down to almost his waist, but since he had cut it short at only around his ears. He didn't know how he felt about the actual style, only that is was alarmingly and uncomfortably _different_. Not only Yuzuru's hair, but also his expression had changed. He was smiling and giggling almost on a constant basis, affectionately placing his hands on the shoulders of the Himemiya kid or speaking fondly with his unit leader or chatting with an embarrassed look on his face with a tall brown-haired kid holding a sketchbook.

It wasn't envy — this Ibara liked to believe he was sure of — but it somehow strange to see Yuzuru so expressive when before he had nothing more to offer to the world than a small smile. When the two of them had been together, Yuzuru had laughed and loved, yes, but seeing him do these thing for these new and frightening people? It was off-putting. It was lonely. But Ibara supposed that was in the past, and Yuzuru was different now. And Yuzuru probably didn't want Ibara to think that way about him anymore. And Yuzuru probably didn't want Ibara staring at his mildly annoyed face instead of actually communicating like a normal human being.

Ibara saluted playfully. "Hello, my precious friend!" he offered. "How's your practice going? Is your unit working hard to defeat Adam?"

  "fine is not merely my unit," Yuzuru responded disdainfully, perhaps in an effort to steer the conversation away. "It's _Kaichou-sama_ 's and everyone's hard work."

"Hm, hm, I see~ With you now, it's always blah blah blah, _Kaichou-sama_ this, _Bocchama_ that, blah blah blah. I've said it before, but you've really changed, Yuzuru. I still don't understand why you let everyone walk all over you."

Yuzuru narrowed his eyes. "Then why does someone like you care so much, Ibara?"

"That's what I like to hear~" Ibara laughed. "Hey, hey, hey~! ☆ I'm bad at the steps to this part, so will you help me out? Since we're friends, right?"

"We're far from friends," Yuzuru insisted, closing the door behind him and stripping himself of his cardigan and jacket. "You are the worst person I've ever met in my life."

Ibara, of course, was far from bad at the dance. Probably better than Yuzuru himself, and Yuzuru knew it. So did Ibara. And obviously they both knew the real reason Ibara wanted to dance with Yuzuru, but instead of saying anything, they moved. Both clumsily and gracefully, they moved about in the way that was intended for another.

They stepped this way and that; sometimes humming the part they were required to sing. The only thing Ibara could hear was music and footsteps, and he wanted to smile at the miraculous harmony. The harmony he had not since been able to achieve for years. They danced, and they danced, and Ibara could not keep track of how long they had danced because he was so happy, he didn't say anything, but such a small thing made him so happy, the happiest he had been ever since...

"Yuzuru?" Ibara suddenly heard himself say. He wanted to stop, but his heart was pounding anyway. Yuzuru's eyes were on him before he could take it back, anyway.

"... Ibara," he responded, neither touched nor annoyed and looking quite a lot like he didn't know why he was here in the first place.

"I... I'm s —"

"No."

Yuzuru stopped moving; the music continued.

"Ibara, I do not know what drove you to follow me all the way to this academy like some kind of lost dog," he spoke rather calmly, "but I didn't request for _Kaichou-sama_ to accept your unit's proposal just to hear some excuse of yours."

Ibara blinked; laughed nervously. "Hey hey, Yuzuru... that's kind of c —"

"I very much preferred it when you left me alone, Ibara." Yuzuru began to rejoin in the song, but Ibara didn't know why he bothered if he was so annoyed. Maybe just out of spite.

"You left _me_ alone."

Yuzuru stopped, bit his lip bitterly, and tried to look Ibara in the eye. Ibara dared to take another step towards Yuzuru.

"You were so cold to me, when I'd done nothing but help you out and give you anything you'd ever wanted." Ibara was getting uncharacteristically emotional now; he stared down intensely at Yuzuru. "You _left_ without even _telling_ me, after I'd done so much for y —"

"Don't tell me that I owe _you_ anything!" Yuzuru suddenly growled, and shoved Ibara square on his shoulders. " _You_ used me!"

"I'm sorry!" Ibara yelped.

Abruptly, the song ended.

"I'm sorry," he echoed. Dead silence, so dead you could almost imagine shouts from outside, even though the practice room was soundproof. "I never wanted to hurt you. You were the only thing I had, you know? I could never mean to hurt you. I love you so, so much... Yuzuru."

"I said... I don't wish to hear your excuses," Yuzuru whispered. "I do not trust you. You're a manipulative person and a liar."

"Ha ha! ☆ Yes, that's correct. I do lie, and I am manipulative. That's why..." Ibara folded his hands together, and gazed at them as if fondly remembering something. "I was so surprised... when I felt love. For my soulmate Yuzuru."

Silence.

"I'm really, truly sorry!" Ibara bowed at a nearly ninety-degree angle. "I don't expect you to accept me, but please forgive me! I truly believe that you are capable of anything, Fushimi Yuzuru!"

The two of them are still heaving and sweating mildly from practice, and for a second that's the only thing that Ibara can sense. The anticipation of heavy breaths, the feeling of perspiration slowly dribbling down his forehead, the smell of salt and humidity engulfing them. It is only after a moment or two that Ibara realizes that Yuzuru is looking at him dead in the eye, as if considering something.

Ibara could barely manage to reach his hand to the door to lock it before his world came crashing down upon him.

All too suddenly, Yuzuru was on him, and Yuzuru's lips were about to touch his. Ibara bore some sort of a mix of a sultry and shocked expression; Yuzuru had some hesitation before he leaned in further, and the two of them kissed. Yuzuru's face was red and bothered greatly, and he let out a controlled, warm heave of breath onto Ibara's face after he pulled away. Ibara's heart pumped at what seemed like hundreds of beats per second. He stared at Yuzuru before him, now wanting more than anything to kiss him again, and Yuzuru spoke.

  "I wish I could resent you," he admitted. "But I'd always... loved that time together."

Finally Ibara, who stood cornered by the wall of the practice studio; he gave in to his desire, pulled his friend close, and kissed him once more. Yuzuru gave in more or less immediately, and it soon turned into a less controlled situation and more and more messy and unpredictable. Ibara's eyes were squeezed shut tightly, and in the darkness he was only left to be pressed against the wall by Yuzuru's firm grip. Before he knew it, he felt his glasses being discarded entirely, and realized sight didn't matter any longer. If Yuzuru pressed harder; Ibara would do the same in return, as if grateful for the invitation. There wasn't much time for breathing; for some reason the two of them felt as if time were a factor. Like if they let go for too long at a time, the other would fade away until he could neither be seen nor touched again.

  "Aah, Yuzuru," Ibara managed when he could breathe; he knew that the disbelief and _desire_  was evident in his voice, but he was having too much fun to care about trying to take it back. "No one can hear us, please... Please no more holding back... No, I've had enough of that..."

Yuzuru offered response in the form of a small laugh, and meeting his mouth to kiss again; this time teasing at the lips with his tongue. Immediately after he did so, Ibara grabbed the back of Yuzuru's neck and pulled their embrace ever closer, and cried out a little in frustration. At Ibara's unspoken request and at the prompting of the noises he was beginning to pull from the depths of him, Yuzuru entered his mouth, desperately trying to put his tongue whenever he could manage. Ibara was breathing quickly now, and occasionally let out short but airy gasps.

"Please, please, please, Yuzuru, please..." Ibara's mutterings were getting less and less legible. Yuzuru got more enthused at each of Ibara's slurred words. At that point, Yuzuru was more or less pinning Ibara to the practice room, right beside the door. While Yuzuru sucked all areas of Ibara's mouth, Ibara reached his hands over and grabbed Yuzuru's abdomen roughly, firmly caressing him over and over underneath his shirt. Yuzuru let out a long, sensual, and drawn-out moan at the action and, as if in retaliation, tipped his head to suck and bite Ibara's collarbone to subside the sudden arousal. At the pain Ibara gasped and dug his fingernails into the area directly above Yuzuru's hips. Yuzuru moaned again, and went right back to messily sucking and kissing his neck.

The fact that they were suddenly — so weirdly _suddenly_ — making out when they hadn't even _touched_ each other ever since that day years ago was so... wildly surreal. Not that Ibara would complain or let up; it wasn't like he could, anyhow, since Yuzuru seemed to be the one controlling the situation. Some kind of unspoken emotion was telling him that this was something he'd longed for. Not ever since Yuzuru had left, but ever since Yuzuru had become the beacon of light he looked to for reassurance, for comfort.

Stupid, it was stupid that Ibara had wanted this embrace for so long without realizing it, and it was even more stupid that he was basking in it for every single second he could. Yuzuru's love was all his, and in this moment he had him all to himself just how he had always wished he would be. In the overheated thoughtlessness of letting Yuzuru kiss his face; lick the inside of his mouth; suck his lips and jaw and neck; Ibara released his tightened grip on the practice room wall. The two of them fell to the floor, and it was at that moment Ibara secretly wished Yuzuru would stop fucking  _teasing_ him and just fucking _fuck_ him already, he was so fucking _discomposed_ and _ready_ and _so_ fucking _desperate_ —

Instead Yuzuru stared, took a deep breath, and wrapped his arms around Ibara as they both lay limply on the tile that was chilling enough to cool them of their stimulated minds. They hugged, both still helplessly stirred up but too embarrassed and scared to act on it. Yuzuru held Ibara tightly; their chests pressed against each other. Suddenly Ibara started sobbing. Sobbing, and sobbing, and sobbing.

"Yuzuru," he laughed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I wanted you all to myself back then. I still do. I'm so awful, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm s-so..."

"... I know."

Ibara cried until he was tired, and fell asleep holding Yuzuru at the waist and resting his red, puffy face on his stomach. Yuzuru listened to him calmly breathe in and out. In and out. In and out. Ibara's glasses still rested at his side, the two of them were still laying on the ground, and Yuzuru began to stroke Ibara's hair. There was something weirdly familiar about the action, and something comforting about it too. Yuzuru had no idea why, and instead tried to sort his thoughts. They had made out for a good twenty minutes. Surely more satisfying — more fulfilling — than the bittersweet kiss they'd shared before Yuzuru walked off two years ago, which only lasted for ten seconds, at the most.

Yuzuru stared. He blushed in mortification to see that he'd left a few small little marks on Ibara, littered mostly around his jawline (although there was a rather noticeable mark lining Ibara's collarbone). Yuzuru bit his lip, and wondered what had come over him not even ten minutes ago to be... horny enough to do something like that without thinking of consequence. He remembered looking into Ibara's eyes that told him he wanted more, and Yuzuru suddenly felt awful cutting him off so suddenly. However, it wasn't something his image could afford, fucking someone else on no basis but pure impulse and sudden arousal right before a live show. Although he could not say that he didn't want to or didn't consider it; the doors were locked and the rooms soundproof. In fact, in that moment, Yuzuru hadn't wanted anything more than to free the annoying tingle living persistently in his chest.

Yuzuru sat there for a few more minutes, incoherent thoughts clouding his mind. The live... when was it starting again? An hour before he had joined Ibara at practice ? Thirty minutes before he started making out with him? Five minutes from now? Did it matter? Did he want to wake up the peaceful Ibara who lay so lovingly on him?

"Ibara, it's time to go."

Yuzuru tried to stand up. Ibara's fuzzy eyes squinted open, and he said in a very sleepy voice, "Who cares? Stay with me, my love..." He held onto Yuzuru's waist alike a pouting child, refusing to let him get up. Yuzuru sighed and reached down to grab Ibara's legs.

"I already have one person to hold when he's sleepy. Honestly, Ibara, can't you be a little more mature —" Yuzuru grunted and lifted him; Ibara then rested bridal-style in Yuzuru's arms.

"Ahahahaha~a~! ☆ Nothing less from Yuzuru, still as freakishly strong as he was years ago!" Ibara laughed delightfully, clapping his hands.

"You're such a child sometimes," Yuzuru rolled his eyes. "You haven't changed either."

"Yeah, yeah, I can walk, okay?!" Ibara wiped his face, which still was a bit messed from crying. Yuzuru let him back onto the ground. "Shall we be off, then?" Ibara smiled, saluting in a rather professional manner despite both of them feeling quite the _opposite_ of professional. Ibara unlocked the door and swung it open. He stretched as if just getting through a hard workout or finishing a long period of testing, and hopped a little excitedly. "Hurry, hurry! We'll be late!"

"That's what I've been saying," Yuzuru insisted, and followed Ibara into the live studio. Because Yuzuru could hear the crowd cheering a greeting to fine and Adam, his voice faded into a sharp whisper when they entered. "It seems like we're late," he hissed. "Hurry and get your uniform on, and cover —"

"My bites?" Ibara offered with a smug grin. "Right? Right? Aren't I right?"

"That's not — They're — I didn't g — It d-doesn't matter, yes, please make sure the markings are not easily detectable."

Ibara bore a triumphant smile, and nodded, walking with purpose to the clothes rack where their two uniforms were swinging lonely. Yuzuru, while he listened, leaned close to the mirror and applied the makeup to his face. It wasn't perfect — not like when Eichi or Wataru did it for him — but it would have to do, because Yuzuru knew he just needed to be out on the stage right then. To join his comrades, and the crowd, and to sing.

"Mister My-Role-Is-To-Support-From-The-Back is actually eager to get onto the stage?" Ibara inquired, also casually applying his makeup with the use of the mirror beside him. "You really haven't changed at all then, have you, Yuzuru? You're still kind of a show-off, huh?"

Yuzuru smiled. His confused smile spoke many things. "No, you're incorrect. I've changed quite a lot more, actually." He grabbed his uniform from Ibara's hands, and shut the case of the makeup he was holding. " _Bocchama_... No, Tori has helped me much with that. And my unit, and my class."

Ibara smiled pitifully; he paused to look Yuzuru in the eye. "Hm. If you're opening up to others besides me..." Ibara turned back to the mirror. "You're definitely different then."

Silence for a moment from both outside the studio and inside it, and then the music on the stage began playing. Immediately, Yuzuru hurried to the changing room to change, and when he returned, Ibara was waiting with an impatient stance about him. Their uniforms for the live were full of red and white motifs and fabrics, and everyone on stage wore cape-like accessories that draped to their knees. Ibara leaned over and tied Yuzuru's into place (how he had done it for himself, Yuzuru had no idea).

  "Anyway, Yuzuru, even if you're a little different than I remember you..." It looked like Ibara was admitting defeat, and he was covering his earpiece microphone with his fist as he fixed Yuzuru's cape — "Now that you have a little bit of sense knocked into you, we're friends again, right?"

  "Fufu, I'd like to hope we're a little more than friends after something like that, Ibara." Yuzuru giggled teasingly and he, too, attached his earpiece.

  "Of course, of course! ☆ " Ibara grinned. "Shall we be off, then?"

They joined hands. Ibara and Yuzuru burst onto the stage, and the crowd cheered loudly at their appearance. Yuzuru had never seen a crowd so... overwhelming. A large crowd, swimming with people, all cheering for _his_ appearance. No longer a mere background character but a vital part of the performance, and someone the audience was overjoyed to see. fine's fans and Adam's fans each joined together — if Yuzuru looked closely, he could see some of them talking together — waving their arms and yelling for pure happiness. Yuzuru smiled, his chest tightening. One of the most powerful units in their respective schools, performing together. It was only when someone squeezed his hand that Yuzuru came back to reality. He glanced to look at him, but Ibara was already busy in singing a solo.

Ibara.

His mind was too fuzzy and whirling to throw together conclusions earlier, but in his mind now it was perfectly clear. Yuzuru didn't know if ever hated him, honestly. Maybe he did. Maybe he still distrusted him or held a grudge against him a little; maybe he wasn't 100% involved in forgiveness yet. After all, he probably had every right to — Ibara had used him to become powerful, had thrown him away. But to have someone say that they loved him; to be treasured and loved above anything else was exhilarating and unlike anything Yuzuru had experienced before. And... despite how much he insisted otherwise, Yuzuru could tell Ibara had changed, too. Much less the insensitive person who did whatever he wanted in order to get what he desired, and much more someone who was — while still desire-driven — empathetic.

Ibara may be hated by everyone around him, but not to Yuzuru. To Yuzuru, now, he was still his angel, and the one who had made him feel so happy and glad to be alive those years in the past. Yuzuru knew he was ready for resolution and, most of all, for forgiveness. He squeezed his hand in return, and turned his lips quietly in a smile he would keep all to himself.

  "What a magnificent smile," Ibara murmured with a grin after he finished singing, muffling his microphone. Unable to say anything to him in reply, Yuzuru sang his part, too. Ibara laughed to himself.

 _Yuzuru is radiant_ , he thought, _now more than ever_. When Ibara was all alone with no one to call a "friend", he had accidentally bumped into Yuzuru. When he was lonesome and had none of the life that his classmates seemed to have, Yuzuru had brought energy and enthusiasm. While he was nothing, Yuzuru was his everything. When Yuzuru had left, so had Ibara's light; his happiness. When he had stumbled upon Yuzuru's face in promotional artwork of an _idol_ unit — a wildly _popular_ one, no less — how Ibara's heart had tightened. It was even because of Yuzuru — because of that influence to become an idol — that he met the pure-hearted Nagisa. Ibara owed everything to Yuzuru, but to Ibara, Yuzuru owed absolutely nothing. Why then?

Why then were they holding hands now, singing in unison like nothing was wrong? Why were they on the same stage now? Why did the cheering of the crowd seem to become more rampant when he and Yuzuru sang together? Why did Ibara's heart beat faster when Yuzuru, the boy he'd loved for so, so long, squeezed his hand like he loved him back?

As a coincidence?

  
.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by too many convos to name, but mainly discussions w bouquets and lio on twit. i want them to be happy
> 
> twitter @shinmetoriii


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